


fake it 'til you make it

by katertots



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (2012), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-11
Updated: 2013-03-11
Packaged: 2017-12-05 00:32:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/716818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katertots/pseuds/katertots
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes women fake orgasms.</p>
            </blockquote>





	fake it 'til you make it

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Merideath](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merideath/gifts).



> Merideath prompted me: Darcy/Steve, fake orgasm scene from "When Harry Met Sally."   
> I blame her.

“You’re so full of shit, Barnes,” he hears Darcy bark laughingly across the table when he walks out of the restroom at the diner.    

 

Steve chuckles as he walks back to the table and slides down into the booth next to her.  He doesn’t know what they were talking about just now, but he’s siding with Darcy on this one because the odds are high that Bucky’s been running his mouth again.  “You really are,” he says and steals an onion ring off Darcy’s plate, tossing it into his mouth. 

 

“Fuck off, Rogers,” Bucky grouses.  “You don’t even know what we were talking about.  Some friend you are.”  Steve shrugs it off and smirks at Darcy.

 

Darcy takes a sip of the chocolate milkshake she orders every time they come here and gestures to Bucky with the glass.  “Bucky here says his sexual prowess is so great that there’s no possible way a woman has ever faked an orgasm with him.”

 

“That’s ‘cause there isn’t.” Bucky insists arrogantly, leaning back against his side of the booth. 

 

“You do realize there are some times that it just doesn’t happen, right?  No matter how hard you try?” Darcy asks, brows raised. 

 

“’S’ never been a problem for me, doll.  You wanna have a go?  I’ll show you just how good I am.” 

 

Darcy snorts.  “Pass.”

 

Steve bites out a laugh.  “I’m very interested in these fake orgasms, too,” he tells her and turns in his seat, ticking an eyebrow up at her.  “Please continue.” 

 

She rolls her eyes at both of them.  “Why do I suddenly feel like Meg Ryan in _When Harry Met Sally_?”  He glances to Bucky and his expression is as clueless as the one he’s sure resides on his own face right now.  “Never mind, I forgot that I hang out with two geriatric seniors all the time who are rapidly approaching the century club.  Did they have talkies in your day?” she asks, scooping the maraschino cherry out from the bottom of her glass. 

 

“Yuk it up, butter cup,” Steve says dryly and pokes her in the ribs. 

 

“There’s this scene in a diner where the two characters—”

 

“Harry and Sally I presume?” Bucky asks in a bored tone.

 

Darcy kicks him under the table.  “Shut up, smartass.  As I was saying…their conversation was pretty much identical to this one and Harry wasn’t buying what she was selling about women faking orgasms, so Sally proved her point and faked one at the table.”  There’s a beat where she realizes the enormous mistake she’s just made.  “Oh, shit,” she mutters.    

 

Bucky shoots him a silent look and Steve nods.  “Carry on then, doll face.  Let’s hear it.”

 

“I hate you,” she spits at Bucky, who grins lecherously back at her.  She turns her head and looks at him. 

 

Steve puts on a boyish smile and shrugs.  “You started this,” he tells her and her eyes narrow dangerously, making him laugh. 

 

“I hate you, too.”  She glances around the diner and shakes her head.  “At least it’s mostly empty in here.  Jesus Christ, I am going to kill you both,” she swears. 

 

“Quit stalling,” Bucky orders.  “We’re all ears.” 

 

Darcy takes a deep breath and blows it out slowly.  She hums a bit and lets out a quiet “ooh” that falls off a little brokenly at the end, her hand sinking into her hair.  A breathy moan slips through her lips and her eyes close halfway.  “Yeah, like that,” she pleads slightly, biting down on that full bottom lip.  Darcy’s head tips back and she moans loudly, running a hand down her neck while the other fists in her long, dark hair.  “Oh, god,” she cries even louder. 

 

Steve chances a look over his shoulder and feels the blush creep up the back of his neck when he sees the few other diners in the place watching their table.  He gets over it pretty quickly when Darcy slaps her hands on the table over and over again as a stream of “yeses” comes spilling past her lips at full volume.  She sighs contentedly and he flicks his eyes over to Bucky, who is just staring at her with raised brows, his mouth slightly agape.  Then in no time flat, her face snaps back to normal and she picks up her milkshake to take a drink like nothing had ever happened. 

 

Bucky laughs and picks up his soda.  “Alright, you win.”

 

Darcy smirks and turns her head to look at Steve.  “Good show, but that’s not what you sound like when I make you come apart.”  He hears Bucky choke and sputter on his drink.

 

“What?” Bucky squeaks and coughs some more.  She lowers her lashes and grins, reaching down to rest her hand on Steve’s thigh.  Their secret is out now, but he doesn’t care. 

 

“She’s _much_ louder,” Steve says, winking at Darcy.  “A screamer, really.”  Between her little show and the naughty look in her eyes right now, he’s ready to take her to the nearest dark corner and bury himself inside her. 

 

“Yeah, well, when that filthy fucking mouth of yours starts talking, I can’t help myself.”  She grins again and leans forward to kiss him. 

 

“I can’t believe you’re seeing our spitfire, punk, and you didn’t tell me!  How the fuck long has this been going on?”

 

Steve shoots him an unapologetic look and shrugs.  “A month or so.”

 

“We didn’t tell you because sneaking around is super hot,” Darcy adds, not tearing her eyes off Steve. 

 

“Very,” Steve agrees, threading his fingers into her hair and brushing his thumb along the back of her neck.  He pulls her closer and lowers his lips to her ear.  “I’m going to rail you so hard later,” he promises darkly and she groans.  He jerks upright and glares when Bucky kicks him hard under the table.  “Jesus, what?”

 

“I’m sitting _right here_.  Don’t need to hear that shit.  Unless you want me to play, too,” he suggests, wagging his eyebrows.

 

“We don’t share,” he and Darcy snap in unison. 

 

Bucky holds up his hands in surrender.  “Well, excuse me.”

 

“Sorry, Buck,” Steve apologizes but he can’t keep the wicked grin off his face.  Bucky laughs and rolls his eyes and all is fine with them. 

 

“We’re gonna get out of here, Barnes,” Darcy tells him and starts pushing Steve out of the booth. 

 

“Yeah, we’ll see you later,” Steve smirks and tugs Darcy to her feet. 

 

They’re nearly out of the diner when he hears Bucky yell, “And you stick me with the check?  Fuck you, guys!” 


End file.
